Le’Veon Bell’s contract, Starling Marte’s return, Sidney Crosby on Twitter and … Kato Kaelin

Put on some sunscreen to protect yourselves from this week’s takes.

Look who's baaaaaaaack.

Look who's baaaaaaaack.

Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports
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It’s the hottest week of the year, but the sun can never replicate the blistering heat found within the Pittsburgh Sports Power Rankings. Put on some sunscreen to protect yourselves from this week’s takes.

10. Kato Kaelin

O.J. Simpson is likely to be set free on parole today, but is not currently considered to be an option for the Steelers if Le’Veon Bell doesn’t report to camp. The Pittsburgh link to the famed legally-not-double-murderer is his ’90s houseguest, Kato Kaelin. It turns out that the Milwaukee-born Kaelin is a Brewers fan and has been very mad online about his team losing to the Pirates this week.

Hmm. Seems like this guy has some anger issues. Maybe the LAPD looked into the wrong guy? (Ed note: Don’t go there, DJ.)

9. Running backs

NFL: Pittsburgh Steelers at Cleveland Browns
Ken Blaze-USA TODAY Sports

Le’Veon Bell reportedly turned down a 5-year, $60 million offer from the Steelers. That’s a lot of money for the Steelers to commit to a running back, one of the more replaceable positions in football. However, Bell’s camp is – wisely – making the case that he is essentially a positionless player because of how much he does as a receiver.  But the Steelers might argue that Bell has often had four positions: running back, receiver, injured and suspended.

It’s really hard to know what dollar amount is a smart offer from the Steelers AND a fair one for one of the sport’s best players (when he’s on the field, of course). So here’s an idea: have the two sides negotiate again next offseason after Bell stays healthy and unsuspended all season, puts up nearly 2,500 all-purpose yards and the Steelers win the Super Bowl. This is a good idea and I like it.

8. Booing

MLB: Atlanta Braves at Pittsburgh Pirates
Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports

Starling Marte got a warm-ish response from the home fans upon his return from an 80-game suspension for testing positive for PEDs. This, of course, led to cries of HYPOCRISY from Brewers fans.

First, all fans are hypocrites. Our bad guys are good, while your bad guys are bad. That’s how sports fandom works. Second, let’s all throw our heads back and laugh about any comparisons between Marte and Ryan Braun. Marte cheated, got suspended and accepted his punishment. Braun cheated and tried to ruin an innocent person’s life to save himself. Boo that man. Boo him forever.

7. Chicagoans

Pittsburgh is coming for Chicago. But not just in baseball. Pittsburgh is beating Chicago in the far more important field of condiments. By calling its standard ketchup “Chicago Dog Sauce,” Heinz is getting Chicagoans to put ketchup on their hot dogs. What rubes!