Steelers receiver Martavis Bryant has reportedly requested a trade. (Or maybe he didn’t.) What he definitely has not requested is a Pittsburgh Sports Power Rankings all about Pittsburgh athletes who should be traded. But he’s getting one anyway.
10. Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin
Believe it or not, less than two years ago, thousands of human adults capable of functioning in society held the opinion that the Penguins should trade the hands-down best player of his generation and the arguably second-best player of his generation/101st greatest NHL player of all-time.
Really. Here is an ESPN article from December of 2015 titled: “The case for trading Crosby and Malkin.” And here is one from 2012 from Bleacher Report, bastion of sports insight, with the compelling headline: “Trading Sidney Crosby is better than moving Jordan Staal.” Sweet merciful god. There are countless more terrible Crosby/Malkin takes just like that all over the internet and social media, but instead of showing you all of them, please enjoy this video of a child eating glue: