Dearest Martha, the potholes in Pittsburgh are terrible this year…

“We are outflanked and terrified. Morale is low.” (But here’s how to get ’em filled.)

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Updated 3:11 p.m.

It’s a scary time to be a driver in Pittsburgh. And no, it’s not because the city’s motorists consistently rank among the worst in the country, or because road construction and delays remain something of a pastime here — although both are true.

No, driving in Pittsburgh right now is scary because of these:

Pothole mania
FLICKR / EUGENE PERETZ

In short, this yo-yo-like winter has left city roads in a sorry state, and these yawning asphalt chasms are everywhere — and we mean everywhere.

From the San Andreas-like fissure running up Penn Avenue in Lawrenceville to the frack-ready holes lining East Ohio Street to the minefield that is East Carson; potholes are bad this year and our cars — and lumbars — are suffering.

If you, like me, have had the heart-stopping experience of hitting one of these potholes at night and immediately jumping from your car to search for what you wrongly assumed was a pedestrian’s body — or if you’ve grown accustomed to driving mostly in the oncoming lane — then you know this as well as anyone.