Today is Amazon Prime Day, the day each year that we take time to feed the e-commerce gods in hopes Jeff Bezos will reward us by not blotting out the sun.
In Pittsburgh, the sun is mostly blotted out already — so we’re probably good. But if you’re not actively boycotting Amazon’s plan to colonize the city, you might be looking for a deal on, say, a television that’s too big for your living room or an Alexa to speak Pittsburghese to.
Alternatively, you might be a proponent of HQ2 coming here and, assuming Bezos personally scans every Amazon order for copies of his biography, you might be eager to show him that your Pittsburgh pride knows no bounds and no particular price point.
More likely, you just can’t get enough Pittsburgh esoterica and kitsch to feed your cravings at the usual brick and mortars. If so, we’ve got you covered with our list of
useless charming Pittsburgh items for sale on Amazon this Prime Day.
Happy hunting, and praise be to Bezos.
Mayor Bill Peduto has his own baseball card, for some reason, and it’s on sale for $1. Hurry, only one left in stock.
Bonus: You can also purchase Season Six of CBS’s “Undercover Boss” featuring Mayor Peduto during his Duck Dynasty phase.
Life … uh… finds a way.
This copy of Jeff Goldblum’s
Oscar winning, critically acclaimed 2006 film “Pittsburgh” is available here for the ungodly price of $34.94. Goldblum is a Pittsburgh-area native and the inspiration behind one of Pittsburgh’s high holy days.
Wishlist this thing right now.
You could also go this less literal route.
Try a parking table, which also doubles as a cookie table or just a table table.
Worst drivers ranked
10. u can’t
Carry this handy goose-repellant device with you on the North Shore riverwalk for uninterrupted strolling.
Don’t know who this man is but I want to.
Because every Chipped Ham Sam needs a Queen to hold him down. Or you might want to boycott this because, as everybody knows, it’s N-E-B-B-Y.
In case your board game nights don’t include enough arguing about real-life gentrification in Pittsburgh.
Because dreams do come true.
If you live in Pittsburgh with a bridge phobia, stay strong, and, my God, why? But maybe this audiobook will help.
Vlogger and musician Weird Paul is from Pittsburgh. He’s also got a CD on sale for $89 on Amazon, so you know it’s good.
Any yinzer can wear their Pittsburgh pride on their sleeve. Only a true yinzer conceals it in the walls.
Your collection starts here for $19.99.